Dear Jacki

Dear Jacki,

The stress of rock camp is really getting me down, I haven't eaten or slept much. What do I do?

Get a tattoo to remind yourself to eat food and drink water.

I'm not very good at instruments, what should I do?

Start a pop band and call your music obscure.

How do I get public recognition outside of Pendleton?

Send Casey numerous emails entitled PRESS RELEASE. Show up at his house; sleep on his couch/eat all his food. Stay there for 6months then move back to Pendleton.

I don't like music and I'm scared of people and sunlight. What do I do?

Start an avant garde punk band and call your music noise.

How does one integrate the well experienced musicians with that not so experienced?

Three major chords and a tambourine.

I broke someone's instrument and I don't know how to tell them, what should I do?

Leave a note with your insurance information. IOU

My wife is really into the Game, but I'm into Jay Z more, how do we save our marriage?

Only discuss how much you hate Kanye.